The Heroic Life

on tuesday HEROES season 2 came out on dvd. although it was a mediocre season at best, i decided to pick it up, if only to prove my unwavering love for the show. although, it does disturb me a bit that such a decline in quality came so abruptly. not until season 10 did the SIMPSONS seriously begin to falter (and for the reason i will not purchase any season beyond 10, in an attempt to trick myself into believing the series ended there). i paid an additional five dollars for the “special” edition which includes a miniature replica of takezo kensei’s mask. overall, a pretty neat little thing. it is made of metal and has some weight to it (aren’t all quality things heavy?). alas, it comes with no  display stand beyond the little cardboard pyramid that came in the box. but even that sucks as it doesn’t properly hold up the mask. if anyone has a miniature helmet display stand, please let me know.

the pride of the bonus features is the alternate ending to the season finale and a little inside the alternate ending piece. they show what would have happened if peter did not catch the vial (hint: death). they actual have a decent amount of footage, as they were already filming episodes 12 and 13 before the writer’s strike forced them to change, so it kind of feels like you’re watching some crazy parallel universe (at least until they just begin showing storyboard shots with dramatic music)

the behind the scenes of the alternate ending is hosted by tim kring and two other random guys who are probably not that important to the creation of the show. i found this very enjoyable to watch, because they reveal a great amount of what would they originally planned for the rest of the story arc. i won’t give anything away, but i will say that they slated maya to save the world. now, i’ve been rather harsh to maya, and this new perspective makes me feel not the tiniest bit of regret for those electronic imprecations. hence, i’d like to issue a public apology to the fictional character of maya:

my bad.

as for alejandro, I will NEVER apologize.

the bonus features include a “sneak peak” of season 3. however, the segment features little beyond a few cast members on set for the first episode of season 3 talking about how excited they are to be working again. they also mention how great the season is going to be, even though they’ve only been allowed to read the first two scripts.   

pretty thrilling angle they are playing here, with the whole who’s-good-who’s-evil thing/ying-yang-worldview. always a great device, and worked very well for harry potter.  alas, it usually makes me very sad when a beloved hero turns to the dark side. eh, when in rome. there’s several good arguments to believe that any one of our protagonists could turn.

claire - two words: electra complex.

matt - also has daddy issues.

nikki - she’s just crazy as hell.

peter - power ALWAYS corrupts. see future barack obama.

hiro - he probably won’t actually become evil, rather perform some act of evil due to misunderstanding somebody’s english or vice versa.

nathan - someone shot him. he’s probably pissed about that.

mohinder - he realizes that he has no real powers. the audience then realizes it doesn’t matter if he’s good or evil due to his overwhelming insignificance. 

hiro

sylar

mohinder

claire

peter

just a few brief comments about these:

• i propose that mohinder’s specifically be labeled as an inaction figure. honestly, what does he do? stupidity and making terrible decisions can hardly be called actions.
• clearly, peter and claire’s action figures bear the least resemblance to the actual actors. couldn’t they stop making hot, passionat, inter-generational love for a mere hour or two in order to model for the action figure sculptors?
• i am glad there is blood on hiro’s sword.
• sylar kind of looks like the rat king from the ninja turtles.

shirtless or not, the season is going to need a lot of peter petrelli using his powers if it is going to be enjoyable. it better not be like last season where he was all clueless and such. i realize part of the appeal of the series is that it’s not entirely a super hero show, but more like regular people coping with emerging super powers. however, i believe after the atrocity that was season two, we ALL deserve to see some epic showdowns.

2. an actual story arc sans extranneous characters no one cares about

things in season two didn’t really get going until quite some time. season three needs to step up and immediately establish a definitive bad guy/destruction of humanity plotline. then, there needs to be a healthy mix of main character development and plot movement. one of the huge mistakes of season two was how the plot moved like matt parkman running the mile and then they tossed in random side characters that NOBODY in the ENTIRE WORLD cared about (i won’t even dignify them by mentioning names). it was almost as if some writer kept throwing out ideas for “cool” characters, and not wanting to hurt his/her feelings, everyone just agreed. i don’t know, maybe said writer was somebody’s mentally challenged relative. at least, that’s what i’ll tell myself so that i can keep faith in HEROES.

3. a single midget

why, you ask? well more than one midget would make the show ridiculous. har har. but seriously, everyone knows that the addition of a midget always improves anything by at least ten fold. and i don’t just mean ratings, i mean actual substance. cases in point: professional wrestling, daytime soap opera, the act of tossing, chocolate factories, the land of OZ. i could continue this list all day long, except i have better things to do. (fine, other things to do (fine, nothing to do (fine, i’m going to sit at home and ogle the girls in the victoria’s secret catalogue (fine, JCPenny’s catalogue)))).

on a more solemn note, kristen bell is evidently in talks to star in some new show, meaning that she probably wouldn’t be sticking around HEROES much longer. that truly saddens me since she was probably the sole new character i enjoyed. (if they bring alejandro back from the dead to fill the void left by an absent elle, i’m pretty sure my brain would explode.)

hopefully in all this time these writers have, they actually develop some kind of story arc.

btw: the final season of battlestar galactica airs friday night at 10 on sci fi. check it out. if you haven’t seen any of the episodes left, then watch this quick review. seriously, what else are you going to do with your life?

so why don’t you give it a try, you neanderthal?

much to my dismay, it has been announced that HEROES will not return until the fall. the exact date is monday, sept. 7. to save you the math, that’s 161 days from now. ponder this: i may not even be ALIVE in 161 days. in fact, none of us may be alive that long.

on the “bright” side, NBC has ordered 25 episodes instead of the usual 22. based on my perousal of various other blogs and heroes news sites, this is supposed to please us. but as far as bright sides go, this is pretty dim. i mean, come on: the second season ended after only the eleventh episode. thus, my calculator watch informs me that we were cheated of exactly 11 episodes. so instead of 25, NBC should have ordered 33. maybe i should bring this to their attention, as i’m sure the executives who order the episodes opt for wearing “classy” watches which lack certain numerical functioning.

i do apologize for my obscene absence. after heroes went off the air i fell into a terrible depression. i withdrew from the world. i drank a lot. these were dark times for me. then a certain joshua g turned me on to the greatness that is…

battlestar galactica. as a result, i still drank a lot and i was still withdrawn from the world, but i now had a reason to go on living. btw: i also found a possible contender for the “most likely to make me gay” flying man award:

i have read in various places that this next volume is going to introduce a bevy of new villains and that they may band together (think legion of doom?) to fight the heroes. if so, i hope that they have a rad meeting place on a skull-shaped island or something along those lines, and i hope they elect sylar as the president of their motley crew. what could be even better: in my opinion, three episodes detailing the election of the secretary, treasurer and historian for said villainous organization.

in the coming days i will offer up some of my infamously accurate predictions for volume 3. however, i need some time to make sense of the teasers out there. the videos posted on youtube are all so effing dark and i can’t hear a damn thing, even though i know the characters are speaking and emitting sound. maybe that is because all of the teasers are bootlegged from some film festival.

historically, though, i tend to get more enjoyment out of the dark death and destruction kinds of points in epic storylines, such as the empire strikes back of star wars, the half-blood prince of harry potter, and [insert third example here]. volume 3 of heroes will hopefully fufill my thirst for fictional blood.